Writers Tip #22

Typewriter

When I really just can’t get out of bed in the morning – when I am utterly depleted and find myself in a near catatonic stupor, when my body is paralysed and I lack the strength and mental capacity to move a single muscle or formulate a coherent thought – I turn to the Samuel Beckett motivational technique.

Take a deep breath and repeat the following phrase three times:

You must get up. I can’t get up. I’ll get up
You must get up. I can’t get up. I’ll get up
You must get up. I can’t get up. I’ll get up

You can say it out loud or just in your head. Whichever you prefer. It doesn’t seem to matter. But it works like a charm every time!

Now, grab some coffee and cigarettes or any other readily available stimulants before heading to the typewriter. It’s a brand new day and there’s no time to waste.

Bonus tip: This incantation may also work for male impotence problems but has not been tested and cannot be guaranteed. If in doubt, readers should seek medical advice from a qualified health professional. Or simply look online for a whole range of useful suggestions, practical instructions, pills, powders, potions, lotions, and assorted home remedies.

15 January 2019


“You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll go on.”
― Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable

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